I’d like you to know that I am writing this blog post while being a stereotype in a coffee shop. It’s raining outside. It’s early December. The wind is chilly as the rain clings to my eyelashes and seeps into my socks, giving the unpleasant feeling of constantly sloshing through a puddle and because I am me, I am constantly tripping. (It was a mistake to wear leather shoes today.) I got off of work early and decided to work a little bit on pursuing my dreams of being a writer. I decided to pursue this dream while sitting in a coffee shop. Sipping my latte. Waiting to approach and be approached by any of the men that are here. I wrote a short poem about this whole dating thing, I think it’s pretty profound:
TO SWIPE OR NOT TO SWIPE
that is the question
for in this free style poem
lazily disguised as a sonnet
or literally any other type of poem
we will discuss
tinder, bumble, and okcupid.
The stress of the swipe
and the stress of the “match”
is undermined only by the horror
of having no “matches” at all.
I am in a relationship with the possibility of a relationship
which is a sad and slightly over dramatic way...
of saying I’m single asf
Isn’t it weird that coffee shops are analogous to mating holes in the wild? Think about this for a second. Here we are, all high and mighty about our thumbs and shit when in reality, we have grounds that we go to find mates. For sex and for lifetime partners.
I’ve thought about this a little bit. Bars are for sex, coffee shops are for long lasting monogamous relationships. (not that I’ve had luck in either but hey that’s not the point. SOME people do.) I’d like to know if there’s a baller out there that goes to a coffee shop and walks out with a one night stand… if there is and they read this post, please by all means hit me up. You sound dope and we could be friends till the end of the end of the end (that’s forever).
(This was a Sponge bob reference by the way and if you got that then by all means you should hit me up, too.)
Anyway. So I’m here pretending to write something worth while that will change your life and will make you think of me, and of life, as something deeper than either actually are. Life ultimately is a lens that is viewed by you and in which this lens is your reality. Life is not deep, what is deep is you.
I read a poem or two the other day. Lemme tell ya. It was intense. I actually felt real emotion. Not stale sarcasm. ACTUAL emotion about ACTUAL THINGSs. incredible, I know. I want to let you know that I have a super deep insight into the state of our reality of being hyper sensitive, egotistically, lonely nimrods. But I really don’t have one.
I’m just sitting in a coffee shop, writing about it, just like everyone else. Hoping to be noticed.